January 7: Is Your Home a Hatchet Home?
The tension parents struggle with involves achieving a teeter-totter balance between too much and too little structure and too much and too little control. The tendency is to create a rigid family system that becomes even more unyielding when stressed. Such a family system provides those in charge with a sense of security because it strictly defines "right" and "wrong," and demands everyone agree with parental definitions....
January 14: The Value of Confessing
During the summer of 1994 my family and I attended the World Cup match between Brazil and the United States. The game was played at Stanford Stadium on a beautiful sunny day. And that unexpectedly close game was the highlight of the trip for me. But not for everyone....
January 21: Hug Me Homes
Jesus showed us what a Hug Me Home looks like. No man or woman in ancient Israel had been mutilated by the religious hatchet-men more than lepers. According to the law, as they approached others on the street, lepers had to wear a cloth covering over their mouth and shout, "Unclean! Unclean!"...
January 28: Encourage Your Pastor In Three Ways
I've got some good news and some bad news regarding your pastor-or pastors in general. According to the Barna Research Group, protestant pastors have only half the incidence of divorce of the national norm. That's the good news. The bad news is that 81% of pastors experience insufficient time with their spouse; 63% have congregational difficulties that affect their marriage negatively; 46 % have sexual problems within their marriage; and 41% indicate that their personal anger toward their spouse is a problem....
February 4: A Line That Goes Up More Than Down
Spiritual victory is a line not a dot. By that I mean it's a series of attitudes and actions which over time define who we are. It's not a single attitude or actions. If we drew it on a piece of paper, it would appear as a wavy line that goes up and down but is always heading in an upward direction. Sometimes men get discouraged because they say or do something that's both stupid and sinful....
February 11: Decisions That Saved a Marriage
As I drove to work one morning a few years ago those thoughts tormented me. My outlook felt as dark as the thick layer of clouds settling in to produce yet another of the gray days that typify winter in the Midwest. My emotions cried out for freedom from the pain and hopelessness I felt after twenty years of marriage....
February 18: The Value of a Rebuke
Sometimes an exhortation may take the form of a chisel that chips off a rough edge. While the process is painful, it may be necessary. That's why the Apostle Paul urged Timothy to not only "correct" and "encourage" but to "rebuke" as well. Occasionally a rebuke is the most loving thing a leader can give, even though the word refers to a stern and sharp correction or reprimand....
February 25: Believing in the Invisible God
I remember as a kid asking God to show himself to me. Or, to speak to me. The request didn't seem like too much to ask. After all, I just wanted some tangible proof that God actually exists and that he cares about me. I wanted to know that God was not just up there somewhere, but beside me. Yet, he never showed himself -- no big surprise there. And he never spoke to me -- again, no big surprise. Nevertheless, as I slept under the stars in eastern New Mexico I knew someone had created the lights over-head....
March 4: The Law of the Harvest
The Apostle Paul believed in the Law of the Harvest. He knew God had established a spiritual law that, like the Law of Gravity, is inviolable. That's why Paul said, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap" (Galatians 6:7).
The Law of the Harvest teaches us a number of valuable lessons: We reap only if we sow. We reap only what we sow. We reap more than we sow....
March 11: You Serve the God of a Second Chance
Anybody who ever failed a test longed for a second chance ... one more night to study ... one more chance to make the grade. Those who have suffered the agony of a failed romance or marriage look back at hurtful things they said or did and wish they could undo the harm. But they fear the damage from an emotional gun that's been discharged can't be undone. They killed love and fear they'll never get it back....
March 18: Everyday Miracles
It was 5 weeks ago that a doctor shared news that shattered me and my family. After 3 full months watching my wife battle for her life the diagnosis was that she was not going to make it and that I may have to consider a decision to remove her from life support. This news resulted in the worse twenty-four hours I and my family have ever experienced. While I never lost confidence that God was at work I did begin to sense for the first time that His will may be to take her....
March 25: Cultivate Faithfulness
A paradigm defines seeing something in a different way. For instance, one day a man was driving his high powered Porsche along a winding mountain road in Colorado. Suddenly, as he sped around a turn a woman in a dilapidated pickup crossed into his lane of traffic. He hit his brakes, swerved, and barely missed running into her truck....
April 1: Look in the Tomb
I've often said if someone could produce the body of Jesus I wouldn't be a Christian. In fact, if somebody could convince me the evidence against the bodily resurrection of Jesus outweighed the evidence for his resurrection; I would abandon the faith in a minute....
April 8: A Call to Commitment
You were designed for commitment just as surely as a ship is built for the open seas and a plane for the sky. If you've never devoted yourself to Christ, you're like a clipper ship tethered to a dock or a jet tied down in a hanger. All of your spiritual potential is at rest, waiting to be unleashed....
April 15: Focus on Jesus
Comparisons are odious. If we compare ourselves to someone higher on the food chain we feel inadequate. If we look at someone who has less money, education, power, looks or toys, we feel superior. Let's not kid ourselves, we all play comparisons. Unfortunately, we're not the only ones.
The tiny pebbles and small white shells of the Galilean beach crunched under the feet of the two men as they walked beside one another. A third followed behind them at a short distance....
April 22: Stand on the Truth
Some men use brute emotional, verbal and physical force to control others. They never hesitate to use intimidation. If they're skilled, they intimidate with nothing more than a look. While they seldom have to actually act out and hurt another person, they may occasionally crush someone verbally, just to keep their reputation in place....
April 29: I Need Your Help. Really.
I know this is a longer email then I normally send out. I hope you'll take the time to read it--because I'm in a cave and need your help.
Instead of ruling a nation, David led a ragtag band of refugee warriors. At one point, while hiding in a cave on the face of a cliff, the black snake of fear uncoiled in his gut. No wonder--a Philistine army waited below like a pack of wolves....
May 6: Start Small and Build On It
Suppose an out of shape and overweight man approached a personal trainer and said, "I want to get in shape." He showed the trainer a picture of what he wanted his body to look like--washboard abs, steel pecks, and biceps like giant hogs wrestling in sausage casings.
Would the personal trainer tell him, "Tomorrow I want you to run seven miles and work out with weights for an hour?" Of course not! He would provide him with a light work out. Over time the exercise routine would expand. If he faithfully followed the regimen his body would begin to resemble the picture...
May 13: Step Down to Lift Others Up
The words of Jesus fly in the face of a generation that urges us to think of "me" first. Nowadays everyone wants to be the sun, not the moon. We want to radiate light not reflect it. Yet, Jesus taught us to look out for others first and ourselves second.
The Lord summed it up when he said, "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve" (Matthew 20:28). A short time after he uttered those words Jesus walked toward two blind men who were sitting at the side of a road....
May 20: Know When to Shift Gears
You wouldn't think something as insignificant as a gear-shift indicator could spell disaster for a car. But it could.
I used to own an Olds Cutlass that worked great except for the gear-shift indicator. When the indicator was on D the car was really in second gear instead of drive....
May 27: Barriers to Belief
Here's the situation: You want to talk to someone about the Lord, but you're not sure how you should approach them. For years I pretty much just shared the message with people in the same way--of course I adapted the illustrations to fit their background--and felt that I'd fulfilled my responsibility. And then I discovered there are three fundamental barriers people have to spiritual truth. Understanding which barrier a person has enabled me to adapt what I say to what they need the most....
June 3: The Power of Friendship
My first best friend was a neighbor who lived behind us in Roswell, New Mexico. His name was Eddy Borland. We were inseparable. In addition to playing baseball together we liked to light fires. One day something happened and Eddy's shirt caught on fire. He panicked and started to run. I tackled him and literally threw myself on his shirt snuffing out the fire ... pretty fast thinking for an eight-year- old. Eddy looked at me and said, "You saved my life." I don't know if I saved his life, but that moment welded us together as buddies....
June 10: The Day I Met John Wooden
For some reason many of the heroes for boys of my generation were named "John." John Kennedy, John Glenn, John Wayne and John Lennon for instance. (John the Baptist and his cousin Jesus were added to my "hero" list later in life.)
In Southern California, we also had John Wooden....
June 17: The Power of an Authentic Man
In healthy homes dads know God loves them unconditionally, so they don't need to pretend they're someone else. They can be real with the fact that they're in a process and have a long way to go on their spiritual journey....
June 24: The Power of Confession
Armando Galarraga had pitched a perfect game. Or, so it seemed. With one out to go, Indian Jason Donald hit a ball that Tigers first baseman Miguel Cabrerra fielded. Galarraga rushed over and caught Cabrera's throw with Donald still a full stride from the bag. It was an out and Galarraga had made baseball history by throwing a perfect game....
July 1: The Power of the Tongue
Speaking to Rolling Stone reporter, Michael Hasting, General Stanley McChrystal referred to his handpicked staff as "killers, spies, geniuses, patriots, political operators and outright maniacs." America's Team, as they were called, consisted of a former head of British Special Forces, two Navy Seals, an Afghan Special Forces commando, a lawyer, two fighter pilots and at least two dozen combat veterans and counterinsurgency experts....
July 8: Five Keys to Conflict Management
Conflict is unavoidable. If you've got two people on a team and they never argue then one of them isn't needed. Jesus, the greatest leader of all time, faced conflict among his disciples, between the disciples and himself, and between the religious and political leaders and himself. As long as your team is on the move there will be conflict. Since that's the case you would be wise to view conflict as an inevitable part of life. Otherwise, you'll view it as an unnecessary interruption of the flow and you may respond to conflict with frustration, anger, and intolerance....
July 15: A Mid-Year Challenge
Suppose an out of shape and overweight man approached a personal trainer and said, "I want to get in shape." He showed the trainer a picture of what he wanted his body to look like--washboard abs, steel pecks, and biceps like giant hogs wrestling in sausage casings....
July 15: A Mid-Year Challenge
Suppose an out of shape and overweight man approached a personal trainer and said, "I want to get in shape." He showed the trainer a picture of what he wanted his body to look like--washboard abs, steel pecks, and biceps like giant hogs wrestling in sausage casings....
July 22: Finding Hope in Hardship
If you watch the news on TV then you've seen the images of the sludge covered pelicans, oil drenched marshes, and dirty black waves breaking on the shore. You probably realize 8,000 people have lost their jobs due to the drilling moratorium while untold thousands of fishermen sit on their docks with nothing to do. This is by far the greatest environmental disaster to hit the United States. And it's not over....
July 29: You're A New Man
On July 8, 1947, an alien spacecraft crashed outside of Roswell, New Mexico. While the crash of the UFO is common knowledge, few know that before dying the lone surviving alien managed to safely store a single pod in a rift near the crash site....
August 5: The Danger of Bad Alliances
Seldom has a leader made a more ill advised and down right stupid alliance than did Lot. Initially, the union appeared as harmless as choosing a Coke instead of a Pepsi. I'm sympathetic to Lot because I fear in his situation I might have made the same choice. Abram, who would later be named Abraham by God, approached his nephew with a reasonable solution to a pressing problem:...
August 12: How to Lose Your Cool, Without Losing Control
Has it ever occurred to you that Jesus was 30-years-old when he cleansed the temple? That means he probably visited the temple during all of the Passovers since age twelve. And he had no doubt seen the money tables, herds of animals and crates of birds. He had seen the rip-offs, smelled the steaming dung, and heard the cacophony of mooing, bleating, and shouting....
August 19: Live Authentically
I know I'm as flawed as the next guy. And I know whenever a man pretends to be less marred or more together than others, he lacks integrity. The next time you find yourself thinking a leader is somehow wired differently than the rest of us, remember that the wisest, strongest, and godliest men in the Old Testament all fell ... Solomon, Samson, and David. And remember that Jesus waged an ongoing war against hypocrisy. Toward the end of his ministry, even as Jesus urged the people to obey the Law of Moses, he warned them about the Pharisees. And his message was clear:...
August 26: Courage in the Face of Hardship
Courage is the ability to face difficulty, danger, or pain without fear. And because life presents us with difficulty, danger and pain we all have opportunities to demonstrate courage. Like when we face the prospect of failing a test, losing a job, hearing back from the doctor about a suspicious growth, discovering one of our kids is using drugs, or a host of other potential problems or losses. Such difficulties can evoke the kind of fear that cripples our faith and freezes our ability to act wisely and decisively....
Sept 1: The Presence of God
I used to ask God to show himself to me. He never did. I can't help but think my faith would be stronger if an angel, or angels, would appear to me as they did to Elisha's servant.
If you recall the story, then you know it's an impressive illustration of God's existence in a parallel dimension. The king of Aram was engaged in a war with the king of Israel....
Sept 8: Winning the Spiritual Tug-of-War
If you've ever been in a tug-of-war, you know how the battle can wage for a short time and then suddenly one team will pull the other over the line. As believers, we're engaged in a spiritual tug-of-war with the world. It's a battle we don't want to lose. To help assure our victory, Peter gives us some timely advice. First, we're to "prepare our minds for action." Can you imagine winning a tug-of-war with a robe wrapped around your feet?...
Sept 15: The War of Fanatics
In the last week or so, several pastors and a guy in New York City captured national attention by either burning or threatening to burn copies of the Koran. Meanwhile, a small group tore some pages from the Koran in a protest outside the White House to denounce what they called "the charade of Islam" on the anniversary of 9/11. As expected, just the possibility of defiling the Koran agitated Muslims around the world....
Sept 23: Silence Doesn't Mean Absence
How would you respond if the miraculous invaded your life? That theoretical question became a reality for Zechariah--the father of John the Baptist. One day while he was carrying out his job as a priest, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared before him (Luke 1:5-25)....
Sept 30: No Taboo Topics
Have you ever noticed that Jesus never responded to a question by saying, "Now that was the dumbest question I ever heard?" In fact, Jesus invited questions and open discussion. On one occasion for example, James and John asked if they could occupy the seats to his left and right in the Kingdom. Jesus didn't rebuke them for voicing such an unexpected thought, but instead he answered their question and addressed the issue behind it (Mark 10:32-45)....
October 7: The Presence of God
One of the biggest barriers most of us face in talking with someone about Christ is opening the conversation in a non-threatening way. Over the years I've tired different questions, but they all seemed a bit clumsy. Several years ago someone suggested a bridge question I think is the best I've tried....
October 14: "Normal" No Longer Exists
In the past change was a relatively slow process, like the gradual eroding of the shoreline. When a cycle of change was completed, things settled down to "normal." The world is different now, as author and educator Jeanenne LaMarsh has observed: "Change is a constant; multiple changes happen simultaneously with no 'normal' in sight."....
October 21: Ask "Why? Why? Why?"
I was surprised to discover a Harris poll that revealed over 90 percent of the people surveyed would change their lives dramatically if they could, and they ranked such intangibles as self-respect, affection, and acceptance higher than status, money, and power. People don't like the way they live, but they don't know what to do about it. They don't know how to change. Those 90 percent would probably be willing to rally behind a leader who could help them make the changes they hunger for....
October 28: To Loosen Resistance, Paint Vivid Word Pictures
If you're trying to lead a person or organization into change, it's important to know that some people believe things should continue to be done as they have been in the past. The Pharisees concluded since Jesus hung around with sinners he must be one himself. Jesus responded to the challenge by referring to a bridegroom. "Can you make the guests of the bridegroom fast while he is with them?...
November 4: Forego Judgment and Process Information
Bringing about change is tough because people tend to polarize around a position and feel they have to be right all the time. Rather than fighting it out at the OK Corral, suggest everyone delay making a judgment until more questions have been asked and answered....
November 11: Do What's Right
Some men use brute emotional, verbal and physical force to control others. They never hesitate to use intimidation. If they're skilled, they intimidate with nothing more than a look. While they seldom have to actually act out and hurt another person, they may occasionally crush someone verbally, just to keep their reputation in place....
November 18: A Key to Purity
A life of purity flows from your true identity as a son of God. As you grow in your understanding of that single reality, your thoughts and actions will be transformed. Slowly you'll find yourself acting in a way that's consistent with the new man, the good man, that God has made you....
December 2: Becoming a Role Model One Day at a Time
Role modeling is crucial. Indeed, the significance of role modeling is underscored by a study involving the cadet wing of the Air Force Academy. Each cadet squadron is supervised by an active duty officer, called the air officer commanding (AOC). Cadets were asked to select what they believed the AOC's primary role to be. Their most frequent choice, chosen five times as often as the next possible alternative, was "officer model," defined as a "person who exemplifies what you want to be, acts the way you would like to act" (James Kouzes & Barry Posner; Credibility, p. 190)....
December 9: Overcoming Barriers to Belief
Here's the situation: You're at a Christmas party and there's someone you'd like to engage in a spiritual discussion. You'd like to tell them about the Lord, but you're not sure how to approach them. Here are some coaching tips:
First, open the conversation with this question: If you could ask God for one thing what would it be? I think their answer to that question could tell you a lot about how to move forward with them....
December 16: God is Approachable
Make no mistake about it: Many people fear God and think he's about as approachable as King Kong. They recall the story of Moses and the terrified Israelites at Mt. Sinai when God revealed himself with, "thunder and lightning flashes, and a thick cloud upon the mountain and a very loud trumpet sound, so that all the people in the camp trembled" (Exodus 19:16). The God that could create and control such powerful physical forces as thunder, lightning and clouds doesn't seem too welcoming....
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