Overcoming Barriers to Belief
December 9, 2010

Here's the situation: You're at a Christmas party and there's someone you'd like to engage in a spiritual discussion. You'd like to tell them about the Lord, but you're not sure how to approach them. Here are some coaching tips:

First, open the conversation with this question: If you could ask God for one thing what would it be? I think their answer to that question could tell you a lot about how to move forward with them.

Second, try to figure out which spiritual barrier they've erected.

There are three fundamental barriers people have to spiritual truth. Understanding which barrier a person has enabled me to adapt what I say to what they need the most. I'd venture to say that without an understanding of these barriers a man could share the message and actually push someone away from the Lord.

With that reality in mind--here are the three barriers and how you can overcome them: Barrier One: The emotional barrier. This barrier is erected by a person who has been wounded by a Christian or other religious person in the past. Someone with this barrier tends to be argumentative. They are more interested in proving you wrong than learning truth. How do you identify it? If you're talking to someone and they're exceptionally argumentative and defensive about spiritual truth they may have been wounded in the past. I'll often say, "You seem to have strong feelings about this. What's you're spiritual background? Have you had a bad experience with a Christian in the past?" If I'm right, and they have an emotional barrier, they'll describe something that happened which deeply hurt them.

Barrier Two: Intellectual. This person is a serious seeker and wants more information so they can make an intelligent decision about Jesus Christ. While they may ask tough questions, they're non-defensive and sincere in their approach.

Barrier Three: Lifestyle. This is a person who is living in a way that they know would have to change for them to get serious about God--or at least they feel that way.

Okay, so those are the barriers. Here's how you deal with them.

People with an emotional barrier must be loved into the kingdom of God. If you dump information on them, it will just reinforce their negative feelings. Demonstrate a genuine concern for them and when the time is right share with them the hope you have in Christ. But remember--it may take years of love before they are ready to trust a believer.

If someone has an intellectual barrier, answer their questions as well as you can. Suggest they read a good book like Lee Strobel's book, The Case for Christ, C.S. Lewis' book, Mere Christianity, or Francis Schaffer's book, The God Who is There. Read the book yourself and then discuss it with them. Don't feel like you have to know all of the answers. The answers are there and you may both learn if you search for them together.

The individual with a lifestyle barrier isn't ready for the truth. But--share it with them anyway and then pray for them. I usually do this by sharing my story in a casual tone. They probably won't show much interest until they reach a point of despair. But if you're there as a friend, when their need is great enough, you may have the privilege of leading them to Christ. Remember, people don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. Have a blessed Christmas. If you get to talk with someone about the Lord, let me know.