Pull This Up Root and All
January 29, 2006

Some people seem to have it all... a quick mind... good looks... and a glib tongue. Add to that growing up in a family of influence and you’ve got a man who seems destined for greatness. Such was Absalom, the son of King David. Unfortunately, he allowed a single character flaw to eat away at his strengths like rust on iron.

Absalom seemed certain to lead God’s people. Indeed, his sensitivity to the felt needs of the masses enabled him to win their hearts and loyalty. While David may have been beyond their reach—the king’s son walked among the people. Rubbing shoulders with them. Listening. Laughing. Leading. Unfortunately Absalom led them in the wrong direction. He organized a revolution against his father. Ultimately his effort to take his father’s throne failed and resulted in his own tragic death.

It’s impossible to read his story without wondering what went wrong with Absalom. What eroded his character? What undermined his loyalty? What made his a life of wasted potential . . . a story of what could have been?

The answer resides in a single word: Bitterness. Absalom never got over the rape of his sister, Tamar, by one of David’s other sons, Amnon. The king’s failure to punish Amnon no doubt stoked Absalom’s anger. Ultimately, that anger drove Absalom to orchestrate the murder of Amnon. Like black dominos falling on one another, each event in Absalom’s life led to another tragedy. After having his half-brother killed, Absalom hid from his father for three years. No sooner were the two reconciled than Absalom began using his influence to undermine the king.

Sadly, the tragedy could have been avoided if Absalom hadn’t allowed his justifiable anger to turn into unjustifiable bitterness and his bitterness into rage. Had he guarded his heart against bitterness the first domino would never have fallen.

Men, beware. All of your natural and cultivated leadership skills can be destroyed by bitterness. Every dream you’ve nurtured and every goal you’ve achieved can be eaten away by the acidic bile of bitterness. When you or someone you love is wronged, be ready to forgive. The author of Hebrews offers sound advice. He said, “See that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15).

So how do we grab God’s grace and uproot bitterness? I think two steps are crucial. Every time you think of the person who wronged you, or who wronged someone you love: 1) Pray for them; 2) Thank God for them. Bitterness can’t grow in soil saturated with prayer and thanksgiving.