Overcoming the "I
Don't Want To" Feeling
August 9, 2005
Early in our marriage Cindy and I identified the
“I don’t want to feeling.” It’s what we felt when the
selfishness monster pleaded with us to disregard the other
person. Of course, recognizing the presence of the creature
doesn’t mean he’ll graciously leave, especially in areas where
he’s established control. But he can be bridled, led to a cage,
and deprived of the freedom to roam around our hearts destroying
our marriage. Here’s how.
Step One: Seriously admit the depth of the
problem. This likely won’t happen until after you ask God to
show you the evil of your self-centeredness. It’s easy to tip
our hat to problems as though such recognition will wave them
away.
Three weeks ago I noticed an elevated walkway that
led from one of our decks to the yard had shifted slightly. A
friend mentioned that one of the pilings on which a support beam
rested could be sinking. He suggested I check it out.
I agreed something seemed amiss, but it didn’t
appear worthy of a closer look. After all, trees shrouded the
walkway and getting to the source of the problem would be a
hassle. Fortunately, a week later, I climbed under the walkway
and found raw sewage dumping into our yard. Moles had dug holes
under the pilings causing them to sink and break the sewage
drain that ran directly beneath the pilings.
Until I saw the seriousness of the problem, I
wasn’t willing to fix it. But I guarantee you, once I saw the
flow of things, I wasted no time in repairing it.
Selfishness is like that. You may see a few
misplaced boards in your marriage. Perhaps a support piling is
sinking. Not a problem, you think. Until you realize selfishness
is a broken sewage pipe dumping waste all over your marriage,
you’ll make little effort to deal with it.
Ask God to show you the seriousness of the
problem. Pray he’ll show you how much of what you do is driven
by a desire to be served. Ask him to let you see how frequently
your anger is triggered by selfish desires that are denied. As
you do this, you’ll be ready to take the next step. We’ll look
at it next week.
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