Bless Your Kids
August 16, 2004
A study of maladjusted students in a large
Oklahoma high school reveals the importance of verbal
affirmation. The counselors in the school first developed close
relationships with ten of the school’s most troubled teenagers.
Next the counselors asked the kids, “How long has it been since
your parents told you they loved you?” Only one of the students
could remember hearing it at all, and he didn’t remember when.
In sharp contrast, students in that same school
who were considered well-adjusted gave answers like: “This
morning,” “Last evening,” and “Yesterday.” Solomon highlighted
the importance of a word spoken at the right time when he said,
“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of
silver.” (Proverbs 25:11).
Words of affirmation uttered at the right time
show the wisdom of a jeweler who places a delicate golden apple
in a sterling silver setting.
Your words are powerful. Solomon said, “The tongue
has the power of life and death (Prov. 18:21a). James, the half
brother of Jesus wrote that the tongue is like a bit in a
horse’s mouth, a rudder on a ship, or a fire which sets a forest
ablaze (James 3:3-5).
Your wife, kids, and those you work with need to
hear words of affirmation and encouragement. You may say, “You
don’t know my wife, kids, or fellow employees.” That’s true. But
it’s also true that no matter a person’s flaws—there are always
things to affirm. It’s a matter of focus. A wart on the face of
a friend isn’t pretty, but it’s not the whole face. If it’s all
you see, however, you may begin to think of your friend as a
wart.
Sometimes I hear men praise their wife or a child
and then steal the blessing away with criticism. It’s like
patting someone on the back and then sucker punching them in the
stomach. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t offer correction. Rather
it means we need to learn how to offer praise without following
it up with a negative comment.
As Mighty Men we’ve committed ourselves to daily
express love to our families, and if we’re single, to those
close to us. Renew that commitment. Look for an opportunity
every day to speak a word of kindness to those you love. If
enough of us do this—we’ll see revival come one man, one day at
a time.
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