Extended
Forgiveness
January 27, 2003
We've all been emotionally wounded. Friends have
betrayed us. Family members have spoken harsh hurtful words. In
most instances the wrong ricocheted off our skin. "No big deal,"
we said. But on a few occasions the arrow pierced deeper and
left a gaping hole. Because the pain persists, forgiveness isn't
easy to extend. Yet, it's essential if we're going to grow
spiritually.
As God has forgiven you, so you must forgive those
who hurt you. You see, your festering emotional wounds will not
heal until they are cleansed of bitterness.
"But I can't," you might say. "You don't
understand what they've done to me."
You're right. I don't. I'm sorry you've been hurt.
Ultimately, only God understands. And he understands because
Jesus was brutally brutalized when the Romans nailed him to the
cross. Yet God's Son extended forgiveness to those who beat him,
nailed him to a cross, and murdered him (Luke 23:24).
"But, I'm not God," you may plead.
Of course you're not. But if you'll turn to God,
he'll enable you to forgive.
Your willingness to forgive doesn't guarantee the
relationship will heal. There is a difference between
forgiveness and reconciliation. Reconciliation can only occur
when the person who hurt you realizes the depth of the pain
they've caused and seeks your forgiveness. Even when
reconciliation doesn't occur, you still need to forgive. The
cold fact is you may forgive someone and never be reconciled
with them.
Of course, we don't forgive just because it will
facilitate personal healing. We forgive because God told us to
do so. Jesus said, "But I tell you: Love your enemies, bless
those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for
those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44). On another occasion he
said, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against
anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive
you your sins" (Mark 11:25). Jesus didn't mean God will not
forgive us unless we forgive others. Instead he meant that we
cannot experience his forgiveness while refusing to extend
forgiveness ourselves.
Ultimately, our willingness to forgive others
reveals the depth to which we understand how much God has
forgiven us. As men who have repeatedly wronged God and found
forgiveness--doesn't it make sense for us to follow his lead and
forgive?
Once you've told God you forgive the one who hurt
you, each time you remember the hurt, pray for that person.
Prayer is the great antidote to bitterness and wrath. Indeed,
it's impossible to harbor bitterness toward person you're
consistently praying for. With that in mind, take a moment and
pray for the person you find hardest to forgive. Pray for their
well being. Pray for their spiritual growth. And pray you'll be
able to forgive them.
Remember…you're never more like Jesus than when
you forgive.
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