What's in a Name?
May 20, 2002
I laughed out loud the first time I saw the
cartoon. It featured a smiling golden retriever with a caption
above his head that read, "Hi. My name is No! No! Bad Dog!
What's yours?"
The poor dog had been yelled at so many times he
concluded his name was "No! No! Bad Dog!" Imagine not only being
called a degrading name--we all suffer that from time to
time--but actually being given a degrading name by your parents.
One of the Mighty Men was named, Josheb-basshebeth which means,
"Shame." And another was named, Shamman which means "Waste" (2
Samuel 23:8,11).
I have no idea why their parents gave them such
names. Perhaps their own situation was so difficult they didn't
think their children could amount to much. Or, maybe their
parents were undergoing such hardship that they unloaded their
grief on the backs of their sons. It reminds me of a crack baby
who enters the world crippled by his mother's addiction . . .
or, the child of an alcoholic who daily suffers verbal abuse and
name-calling.
As I reflected on the names of those two warriors
and the pain of their childhood I recalled my own. Both my
parents were alcoholics. They had married and divorced each
other numerous times. On one occasion--while they were trying to
figure out what to do with their lives--they placed me in an
orphanage. I wasn't yet four-years-old and the memories are
vague . . . like a forgotten nightmare.
But I do remember the emotions. I recall feeling
unwanted and frightened. Later, when they reunited and I
returned home, I recall the feelings of shame associated with
our family. While we lived in a large house, I didn't want my
friends to visit for fear they would see my parents drunk or
fighting.
This instability at home translated into my
behavior at school. I made D's and F's in every subject but
Physical Education and Art and spent almost as much time in the
principal's office as the classroom.
At night, before falling asleep, I entered a dream
world where I imagined myself as a champion. I knew the thrill
of throwing a touchdown-scoring pass. I knew how it felt to
graduate number one in my class. Sometimes my dreams would
continue on for days or weeks. I clung to the hope that one day
I would be a champion.
It's no wonder I identify with these two Mighty
Men. As I reflect on their story I wonder if they too created
such childhood dreams. Did they cling to fantasies of greatness
that helped them endure the pain of life?
And what about you? Perhaps you can't identify
with such a difficult childhood. But I suspect you're acquainted
with the agony of rejection. You know how it feels to have those
you value look down at you like an arrogant waiter in an upscale
restaurant. You've had those you love refuse to affirm your
gifts and talents. You've had them ridicule your dreams and
remind you of past failures.
Maybe you've allowed the scars from such wounds to
cripple your progress and handicap your potential. I'd like to
suggest that in God's economy these scars are the preparation
necessary for greatness. Such wounds are the stuff Mighty Men
are made of. You see, God is in the business of taking boys
named "Shame" and making them into Mighty Men.
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