How's Your Pastor
Doing?
August 21, 2002
I've got some good news and some bad news
regarding your pastor--or pastors in general. According to the
Barna Research Group, protestant pastors have only half the
incidence of divorce of the national norm. That's the good news.
The bad news is that 81% of pastors experience insufficient time
with their spouse; 63% have congregational difficulties that
affect their marriage negatively; 46% have sexual problems
within their marriage; and 41% indicate that their personal
anger toward their spouse is a problem.
So as I read these statistics they tell me that a
lot of pastors are struggling in their marriage. They're
committed to the institution of marriage. But that commitment
doesn't guarantee marital bliss.
On a personal level, the man who leads your church
and teaches you on a weekly basis may be hurting. Chances are
few people know about it. Indeed, nobody may know except your
pastor and his wife. You see, pastors realize they're supposed
to have an ideal marriage . . . one that's a model for others.
If they pull back the mask and reveal the suffering behind
it--they might disappoint. Or worse, they might lose their job.
So what can you do? Let me make three suggestions.
First, pray for your pastor every day. Ask God to
provide him with encouragement. Ask God to protect his marriage
and cause it to thrive.
Second, do everything you can to make sure your
church is providing financially for your pastor. Money is a
major cause of marriage conflict, and pastors are not immune
from this source of trouble. Paul said that men who work hard at
preaching and teaching are due double honor--(that's a reference
to money) (1 Timothy 5:17). I've heard people say, "Well the
pastor needs to trust God with his money." That's right. But so
do the people in the church and generosity on their part will
encourage their pastor and remove a major source of marital
conflict.
Third, encourage your pastor to work no more than
50 hours a week. Insist he take a weekly break from the routine.
I remember during my first pastorate I was working 80 plus hours
a week. I was driven by a desire to reach the world for Christ,
as are many pastors. During my first review the board demanded I
work no more than 50 hours a week. Their leadership changed my
life and strengthened my marriage.
If you'll support your pastor in these three ways,
you'll significantly increase the likelihood he'll not only stay
married, but stay happily married. And that's not good news,
it's great news.
Verse of the Week: "The elders who direct the
affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor,
especially those whose work is preaching and teaching." 1
Timothy 5:17
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